Jake: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 16, 2018, and it is a Sunday, and my name is Jake the Ape, and I am reporting today, and these are my co-hosts: Flopsy the White Bunny, Peanuts the Elephant, and Ducky Buttons the Yellow Duck. We’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

This evening in the news:

Right now in the Weather, it is a partly cloudy 55 degrees Fahrenheit, with a feel of 55 and a WSW wind coming in at 1 mph. Today there was a high of 75 with a low of 46, with a feel ranging from 72 to 43 degrees. It will be partly cloudy for the rest of the night, with temperatures ranging from 53 to 48, with a feel of the same temperature range. There is no rain forecasted for the rest of the night, with a wind coming from the NE at 1 mph. After that, it will be basically calm for the rest of the night. That’s all for the Weather. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ducky Buttons: “Pertaining to the news in Sports, we’ll be covering diving, tug-of-war, and dancing. In diving, Lana the Arctic Hare went up against Leighton the Asian Lion. Lana did a perfect dive, a 5 out of 5, with Leighton doing a sloppy one of a 1 out of 5. And so, Lana ended up winning the diving competition. For tug-of-war, the Asian Red Foxes and the Asiatic Jackals went at each other, with the Red Foxes tugging the Jackals into the mud. And so, the Foxes won. In dancing, Lilly and Malachi the Australian Masked Owls twirled themselves around the dance floor. They made history by winning first prize against Margo and Marshall the American Badgers. And now ends the Sports for the tonight. See you tomorrow.”

Peanuts: “For the Celebrity News, Matt the Little Brown Bat bought his first car, a bright yellow Altima, for 20,000 dollars. He named the car Sunny, and he will never lose it. Maybelline the Black Rhinoceros finished her new pop album, “The Stomping Ones” today. It will be out in stores tomorrow. McKenna the Black-Capped Chickadee completed her first movie, “The Crazy Fliers” today. “The Crazy Fliers” will be in theatres in two days. That’s it for the Celebrity News. See you next time.”

Flopsy: “The Cooking News for today, is that the new salad, Afbacapop Salad which is made from the California Poppy, Baby’s Tears, and African Violet is now out at Olive Garden. It’s been getting 5 stars overall. The new candy which is made from the Filipendula plant, the Glory of the Snow plant, and the Heliotropium has been named the Figlosnohelio Candy. It smells of fish, but has the taste of chocolate and grapes. Such a very strange candy. The new smoothie made from the Jicama, Monarda, and the New Zealand Flax is now out at your local Sprout’s. The smoothie has been named the Jimonezeafla Smoothie, and has been ranked a 9 out of 10. And so, that’s it for the news on Cooking. See you tomorrow.”

Jake, Flopsy, Ducky Buttons, and Peanuts: “That’s all for the news, folks. See you tomorrow, and have a good night! Stay warm!”

The End for today.