Ducky Buttons: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 15, 2018, and it is a Saturday, and my name is Ducky Buttons the Yellow Duck, and I am reporting today, and these are my co-hosts: Jake the Ape, Flopsy the White Bunny, and Peanuts the Elephant. We’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

And in the news this evening:

For Sports, we’ll be covering basketball, ice skating, and golf. Today for basketball, the Brazilian Otters and the Brown Lemurs went up against each other. It was a dirty game on the part of the Otters, but the Lemurs still ended up beating them, playing their part of the game cleanly. In ice skating, Kenton and Keri the Black Swans skated in circles around each other in the competition and ended up beating Kit and Koby the Black Bears. They took the gold easily with their feathery grace. Pertaining to golf, Kurtis the Burrowing Owl made history by beating out Lachlan the Bush Dog 14-8. That hasn’t been done in 15 years! The celebration for it is going on right now. Congratulations, Lachlan, on this long-awaited victory. That’s for the Sports tonight, everybody. See you tomorrow.”

Peanuts: “In the news according to the celebrities, Lance and Leola the Buttermilk Snakes welcomed eight little ones into the world earlier tonight. They now have five sons, Lemoine, Lewin, Lucas, Lyle, and Lynton, and three daughters, Liza, Louella, and Lucia to add to the four sons—Lynwood, Mack, Maitland, and Major—and three daughters—Macie, Mackenzie, and Mable–they already have. My goodness! A lot of ‘M’ and ‘L’ names, and what a big family! Happy wishes to them all and good luck with the children. That’s far too many children for two parents to manage. Malvina the Ringtail Cat finished her album “Ring the Tail’s Cat” today. The album will be out in stores tomorrow. Marcus and Marianne the Cape Cobras were married today in a large ceremony on the grounds of the local wildlife refuge. Normally, that isn’t allowed but with their 200,000 dollar donation to them, the refuge was unable to refuse their request. And so they were married there…in the horrible heat and humidity that resides there beneath the trees. There was a hot spell in the exact location they were married in. Very unfortunate for them. Fortunately, the ceremony wasn’t long, and they retired to the coolness of their honeymoon suite. So that’s all for the Celebrity News. More tomorrow. See you then.”

Flopsy: “In Cooking tonight, there is a new cocktail out. It contains Amaranth, Cineraria, and the Eggplant. The new cocktail is named the Amarcineg and is being served at bars. So far it’s getting good reviews. The Frangipani, Greater Celandine, and the Hedgehog Cactus plant have now been combined with wheat to make a new bread. It is named the Francelage and it is now out at H-E-B. And lastly, the Lacy Pine Fern, Nemesia, and Oconee Bells have now been made into a new curry. The curry is named the Lacesianee Curry and is being served at many different Indian restaurants throughout South Texas. That’s all for Cooking tonight. See you tomorrow.”

Jake: “The Weather this evening, is 44 degrees Farenheit and mostly cloudy, with a feel of 44 degrees, with a wind coming from the S at 2 mph. Today it was beautifully sunny and clear out, with a high of 73 degrees and a low of 46, with a feel ranging from 75 to 50. For the rest of the night, it will be partly cloudy, with temperatures from 43 to 41, with a feel of the same. The wind will stay a constant WNW, but will be coming in at 1 to 2 mph, with no rain forecasted. And so a slightly interesting night for the Weather. That’s it for me, see you tomorrow.”

Jake, Flopsy, Peanuts, and Ducky Buttons: “That’s all for the news tonight, folks! Have a good night and stay warm! See you tomorrow!”

The End for today.