Jake: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 12, 2018, and it is a Wednesday, and my name is Jake the Ape. These are my co-hosts, Flopsy the White Bunny, and our two newscasters who were on their temporary leave of absence for blowing out the electricity and the wi-fi for SiennaTigerlily’s house during Thanksgiving, Ducky Buttons the Yellow Duck and Peanuts the Elephant. We’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

And so to start off:

The Weather is a—”

Ducky Buttons: “I want to start out. It’s my turn since I haven’t been here.”

Peanuts: “I want to start out. I haven’t been here either.”

Flopsy: “Neither of you are starting out. Jake is. It’s his turn. Since neither of you have been here, you have to learn the rules again.”

Ducky Buttons and Peanuts (together): “FINE.”

SNAP.

(THE ROOM GOES DARK).

Jake: “What just happened?”

Ducky Buttons: “The room went dark. The electricity’s out.”

Jake: “I can see that. It’s obvious. My question went more towards “how are we going to fix it?”, not “what happened?”.”

Ducky Buttons: “You said “What happened?”, and so I answered it. If you meant something else you should have said what you meant instead of that crazy question.”

Jake: “Thank you so much for your input/advice that I was NOT asking for.”

Ducky Buttons: “You’re welcome. Anytime you need my input or advice, come and ask me and I will be more than happy to give it to you.”

Jake: “I’m sure you would. And you’re the last person I would ask for advice or input from.”

Ducky Buttons: “I feel honored you said that.”

Jake: “You should. After all, I am royalty.”

Ducky Buttons: “Now that’s a bunch of garbage. You are not.”

Jake: “You wound me terribly, you know that right?”

Ducky Buttons: “HA! Yeah right. It’s what they all say.”

Jake: “Is not.”

Ducky Buttons: “Is too.”

Jake: “NOT.”

Ducky Buttons: “TOO.”

Flopsy: “Quiet. Or I’ll go get SiennaTigerlily.”

Jake and Ducky Buttons: “FINE.”

Peanuts: “Well now that that is done, I guess no news tonight since no one can see us.”

Jake: “I guess not.”

Jake: “Well everyone, sorry but no news tonight, since as you can see the room is dark. And it’s going to take a while to get the electricity back on.”

Jake, Flopsy, Ducky Buttons, and Peanuts: “See you tomorrow night.”