Blue Fuzz: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 11, 2018, and it is a Tuesday, and my name is Blue Fuzz the Blue Dog. These are my co-hosts, Jake the Ape, Flopsy the White Bunny, and Lil Monkey the Brown Monkey. We’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.
For the news this evening:
The Fun/Weird News this fine night, is Khloe the Cheetah is now a nun and praying to the stars for clairvoyance. Her home of clairvoyance is in the scrub brush of South Texas. She’s built a little house out of scrub brush, and put together her furniture from scrub brush. She’s being very resourceful. And so every night she is outside praying to the stars for her clairvoyance. We’ll see how she does with that. Korbin the Chimpanzee swung his way to the top of the ladder of a two-story building, hung there for a moment and then let himself drop to the ground. He landed on a very sturdy trampoline, and for the next hour he bounced up and down. And believe it or not he was being paid to do this! That lucky son of a gun. Laraine the Common Dolphin somehow danced her way across the floor with her partner, Lawson the Collared Lizard, in their debut dance in Dancing With the Stars. We wish we could have been there to see that dance. Unfortunately, the recording material got wet somehow, and Laraine immediately had to depart for the water after the dance. So, obviously, it was unable to be repeated. That’s it for the Fun/Weird News tonight! More tomorrow.”
Lil Monkey: “The Current News for tonight, is that Leonard the Common Green Iguana camouflaged himself from the police after stealing a pack of gum from a gas station. In his haste to escape, he un-camouflaged himself a little too soon, and some lagging officers caught him. He pleaded guilty of being camouflaged. Lester and Lilian the Common Wombats married today in a large ceremony held on the beach. Just when they were saying their vows a large wave dumped them, their wedding party, and their guests with a load of water. And so everyone was of course soaked. Once the wave was passed, the vows were immediately said, they kissed and then there was a huge water fight between them all. To end the Current News for the evening, Linette the Desert Spiny Lizard fulfilled her name, and moved to the desert and made herself some spines from the local vegetation growing in that region as decoration and also as protection. So that’s it for the Current News tonight. See you soon.”
Jake: “In the news according to the Weather, it is a partly cloudy 58 degrees Farenheit, at a feel of 58, with a wind of 6 mph coming out of the SE. Today there was a high of a beautiful 73 with a low of a cool 57. It was sunny and a little warm out today, with a feel ranging from 72 to 58. There is no rain forecasted for the rest of the night. It will be partly cloudy for the rest of the night as well, and the wind will be a constant SSE wind ranging from 6 mph to 4 mph. And so that’s it for the Weather News. We’ll see you next time!”
Jake: “But wait I’m not done….yet. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock……tick tock goes the clock. There’s a clock? I didn’t know that. Tick tock tick tock. And on and on and on…….Off we go into the wild blue yonder…..what is a “yonder”? And “wild” and “blue”? How do they fit in? Anybody have any ideas?? Anybody?? Anything?? Nothing?? Come on, somebody’s got to have something to say! Please say something….anything? Silence. I hate silence. Such a horrible word…..silence. Over the rainbow and under the bridge…..tick tock tick tock–”
Flopsy: “Can I go now? Are you done with your rambling? Actually, you are done. You said so. And so it’s my turn. No, Jake. My turn.”
Flopsy: “And so finally, for Cooking this evening, there is a new smoothie out at the Dessert Lounge. They have named it the Australian Bramble Jet. The new smoothie’s ingredients are: the Australian Tree Fern, the Bramble, the Black Jetbead, and the unknown ingredient. It’s been rated five stars. Its sweet tangy flavor is a delight, while it’s sour fishy-smell is a downright turn-off. They don’t tell their customers what the unknown ingredient is, just as they won’t tell us either. There’s a new candy out made from Citrus, Eucalyptus, and the Flowering Crabapple Tree. They’ve named it the Citrue Flowcratree Smoothie. And for the last in Cooking, there’s a salad out made of the Glorybower, Inula, Lady’s Mantle, and the Mahonia. It comes out tomorrow at your local H-E-B, along with the recipe. The name of the smoothie is Goryinulaman’s Smoothie. That’s all for the Cooking News. See you tomorrow!”
Blue Fuzz: “Lil Monkey and I just wanted to say that it has been a lot of fun on the news, and that this will be our last newscast on The Daily News from The Animal Quartet. Ducky Buttons and Peanuts will be back on tomorrow night from their temporary leave of absence. SiennaTigerlily is trying to get us—Lil Monkey and I—and two of our friends, Wolf the Gray Wolf and Cali the Calico Cat, to have our own talk show. So that will be up soon. Keep a look out for it.”
Jake, Flopsy, Lil Monkey, and Blue Fuzz: “That’s all for the news for tonight, folks! Goodnight and once again, stay warm!”
Lil Monkey and Blue Fuzz: “We’ll see you on the talk show.”
The End for today.