Lil Monkey: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 9, 2018, Sunday, and my name is Lil Monkey the Brown Monkey. These are my co-hosts, Flopsy the White Bunny, Jake the Ape, and Blue Fuzz the Blue Dog. And so we’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

Tonight for the news:

The Current News for tonight is Jemima the Grant’s Gazelle is now teaching the class “How to Leap” at the University of the Grassy Valley. Her class is very popular, and her students are excelling at it. Her students include several Green-Backed Herons, four Grant’s Gazelles, and eight Greater Sage Grouses, as well as, a Red-Tailed Hawk. Jerold the Green Heron and Jerrie the Herring Gull played poker, with Jerold nearly bankrupting Jerrie. And lastly in the Current News, is Johnathon the Hummingbird hummed his way through his concert when he forgot the words. He ended up getting a standing ovation. And that’s it for the Current News. See you next time.”

Jake: “In the Weather right now, it is a clear 44 degrees Farenheit with a feel of 42, and a NNW wind of 4 mph. Today there was a high of 61 and a low of 41, with a feel ranging from 60 degrees to 42 degrees. There is no rain for the rest of the night unfortunately, so on that front, quite boring. The rest of the night, it will be clear, with a wind coming from the NNW at a constant 4 mph. So all around, once again, A  B-O-R-I-N-G  N-I-G-H-T. No lightning, no thunder, no rain, no hurricanes, no etc, etc. Does anything interesting ever happen around here? Besides droughts of course. But droughts are so BORING. (HUGE EXAGGERATED SIGH). I can’t wait for when it becomes hurricane season again. Or at least when it rains a lot. Then I can have something interesting to say, instead of the regular junk. Anyway, that’s it for the Weather. My time’s up, since SOMEONE is giving me the signal to quit my news segment. So I will see you all at the next Weather news.”

Blue Fuzz: “Finally he’s done. You’d think the world is not exciting. And now on to more interesting things. The Fun/Weird News for this night, is Kacey the Stick Insect opened her own store called “The Boutique for the Stick Insect”. She has many different types of clothing, such as, vintage, country, posh, classic, Southern, Northern, and several other types of clothing. Karyn the Jaguar made it her mission to go to The Fairy Land. Unfortunately, she never made it because of course The Fairy Land doesn’t exist. She dressed up as a fairy and even made a fairy wand for herself. She now continues her search for it. Lark the Koala has come forward with a set of spells for de-aging herself. Her genius has created de-aging spells for all different ages and types of people. She will be on The Tonight Show tomorrow night to discuss her spells. That’s all for the Fun/Weird News. See you later.”

Flopsy: “For Cooking right now, we have a new casserole made out of the Bellflower, the Caraway plant, and the Easter Cactus. Combine it with a dressing made from the Forsythia plant and the Goldenchain Tree and you have a delicious dish. They’ve named it the Bellaway Cactus Casserole. The Hornbeam and the Iochroma plant are a new hot chocolate with sprinkles from the Lobelia plant. It’s been named the Beamroma Hot Chocolate. Lastly in the news pertaining to Cooking is that there is a new cocktail out by the name of the Rock Mallow Cocktail. It’s made out of the Rockcress plant and the Seashore Mallow plant. That’s it for the news in Cooking. See you next time.”

Jake, Flopsy, Blue Fuzz, and Lil Monkey: “We’ll see you tomorrow, and have a goodnight. Stay warm.”

The End for today.