Jake: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 7, 2018, and it is a Friday, and my name is Jake the Ape. These are my co-hosts, Blue Fuzz the Blue Dog, Flopsy the White Bunny, and Lil Monkey the Brown Monkey. We’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

The news tonight is:

The Weather on this fine chilly night is a cloudy 63 degrees, with a feel of 61, and a W wind going at 11 mph.  Today there was a high of 78 with a low of 55, having a feel ranging from 77 to 55 degrees. The possibility of rain for the rest of the night has the range of 10% to 45%. It will be cloudy until 12:00AM, at which time there will be a possibility of a thunderstorm of 35%, with the possibility of rain continuing until 2:00AM. At 3:00AM, it will then be cloudy again and remain like that for the rest of the night. The wind will be from WNW at 14 mph at 10:00PM, and changes to a NW at 17 mph at 11:00PM, and to a NNW at 18 mph at 12:00AM. The wind will be basically a NNW for the rest of the night, with the wind ranging from 11 to 18 mph. That’s all for the Weather tonight, folks! Finally something exciting! We should celebrate with a song before the rest of the news continues:

The song is: It’s Raining, It’s Pouring. And here are the lyrics (and he sings to it in a sing song voice that is very off key):

It’s raining; it’s pouring.

The old man was snoring.

He went to bed and bumped his head.

And couldn’t get up in the morning.

Now we’re all done. See you tomorrow.”

Lil Monkey: “Are you done yet so that I can begin my news?”

Jake: “Maybe. Just because I’ve ended it doesn’t mean I’m done. Maybe I want to say more.”

Lil Monkey: “When you’ve said you’re done, you’re done.”

Jake: “Fine. All right, I’m done.”

Lil Monkey: “Good. Finally. Now to my news.”

Lil Monkey: “The Current News tonight is that Hamilton the Moose has won the lottery of two million dollars and has spent it all on his favorite types of food: catkins, the tall grasses from the water, and the leaves of water lilies. He has moved his mountain of food to his boreal forest in Canada. Howard the Northern Elephant Seal performed as Indigo in the theatre play “Dry as Can Be” today and got a standing ovation. He will be performing again tomorrow. Jaida the Ocelot made the news today because she was honking so loudly in traffic that she annoyed several people and the police were called. Her impatience got her into a little trouble. The police gave her the ticket for “Honking with Impatience”, and then sent her on her way. That’s it for the Current News tonight. See you next time.”

Lil Monkey: “Onward to the fairy land. Fairy land, fairy land. I want to go to the fairy land. I’m going to the fairy land. I can see mermaids, unicorns, and magic. Fa la la la. It’s all hunky dory, hunky dory everywhere.”

Blue Fuzz: “You’re talking nonsense, Lil Monkey. You should be quiet—you’re embarrassing yourself.”

Lil Monkey: “No I’m not. The only way I’d be embarrassed is if I felt embarrassed by what I’ve just said. And I don’t.”

Blue Fuzz: “You’re crazy.”

Lil Monkey: “You’re right I am. And proud of it.”

Blue Fuzz: “Are you done yet?”

Lil Monkey: “Yes I am. Go ahead.”

Blue Fuzz: “Finally, I can go ahead with my news.”

Lil Monkey: “Yes you can.”

Blue Fuzz: “Thank you.”

Lil Monkey: “You’re welcome.”

Blue Fuzz: “And before I was so rudely interrupted, here’s the news.”

Lil Monkey: “You were not rudely interrupted.”

Blue Fuzz: “Yes I was.”

Lil Monkey: “No you weren’t.”

Blue Fuzz: “Yes.”

Lil Monkey: “No.”

Blue Fuzz: “Yes.”

Lil Monkey: “No.”

Flopsy: “Do the news now.”

Blue Fuzz: “All right, all right.”

Lil Monkey: “Sorry.”

Blue Fuzz: “Sorry.”

Flopsy: “The news.”

Blue Fuzz: “The news right right. On to the news.”

Blue Fuzz: “In the Fun/Weird News, Jay the Orca got into it with Jericho the Great White Shark in a two mile race. Jay beat him by three feet. Junior the Painted Stork took a selfie of himself and painted it. He competed in a painting competition against Kandi the Pampa Gray Fox, who painted a picture of a sunset landscape. Junior ended up winning, with the prize being a camera so that he could take more selfies and a paint kit to paint them. And lastly in the Fun/Weird News, Kenelm the Wood Pigeon made his home in his new birdhouse that he carved. He finished it up earlier today, including painting it with red, green, and blue colors. The roof is red, with the walls being blue, and the windows, the perch, and the base of the birdhouse being green. He also bought all the best furniture. They’re all made out of the finest mahogany. That’s all for the news tonight. More tomorrow. See you then.”

Blue Fuzz: “And now it’s my turn to talk nonsense. Nonsense. Nonsense. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. (Sing song voice): It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all. Over the rainbow, and under the bridge—”

Flopsy: “It’s my turn for the news.”

Blue Fuzz: “I’m not done yet.”

Flopsy: “Yes you are.”

Blue Fuzz: “No, I’m not done yet. Everyone else got to talk extra, so then so do I. It’s only fair.”

Flopsy: “It’s my turn for the news.”

Blue Fuzz: “No.”

Flopsy: “Yes.”

Blue Fuzz: “Fine I’m done. Sheesh. You can go on with your news.”

Flopsy: “Yeah, finally. Before I was so rudely interrupted.”

Blue Fuzz: “Just do it.”

Flopsy: “I’m trying. If you’d be quiet.”

Blue Fuzz: “I was being quiet.”

Flopsy: “No you weren’t. You were talking.”

Blue Fuzz: “Just get done with your news will you?”

Flopsy: “I can’t do it with you constantly yakking away.”

SiennaTigerlily (Me): “QUIET! BLUE FUZZ IN THE CORNER! FLOPSY DO YOUR NEWS.”

Flopsy and Blue Fuzz (together): “We’re sorry.”

SiennaTigerlily (Me): “You better be.”

Flopsy: “And now the Cooking News.”

Flopsy: “Pertaining to the news of Cooking, there is a new cake out with the plant Arbutus, Butcher’s Broom, and Callery Pear mixed all together, with the icing made out of the Endive, and sprigs of Larch on top for decoration. It has a sweet but spicy taste to it, with a lasting sweetness. The cake’s name is Arberoocape Cake, and its recipe and ingredients are out at HEB today. A new curry is out with the ingredients of the Melon and the Pavonia, with bits of Queen’s Wreath mixed into it. The Melpa Curry is now out at Chili’s this afternoon. The new cookie, the Spice Tung Cookie, is made out of the Spicebush and the Tung Oil Tree, and will be out tomorrow at Melba’s Bakery. And so that’s all for the news on Cooking. More tomorrow. See you then.”

Flopsy: “It’s nonsense talking time for me! Yea! Party, party, party! Break out the juice and the cookies and the pizza, and all that wonderful food! Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy! I jump and I jump and I jump!”

Jake: “I think you’re done.”

Flopsy: “I get talking nonsense time also. Everyone else did, so why can’t I?”

Jake: “It’s late and it’s time for bed. That’s why you’re done talking.”

Flopsy: “No.”

Jake: “Yes.”

Flopsy: “No.”

Jake: “I want to go to bed.”

Flopsy: “Well I don’t.”

Lil Monkey: “Neither do I.”

Blue Fuzz: “I do.”

Jake: “Two against two.”

Flopsy: “I’m still going to talk nonsense as long as I can. Such as now: (sing song voice) We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. I want to go see the wizard of Oz. Who else wants to?”

Blue Fuzz: “The Wizard of Oz doesn’t exist.”

SiennaTigerlily (Me): Bedtime now.

Jake, Flopsy, Lil Monkey, and Blue Fuzz: “Ok….”

Jake, Flopsy, Lil Monkey, and Blue Fuzz: “Well that’s all for the news folks! See you next time.”

The End for today.