Lil Monkey: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is December 2, 2018, and it is a Sunday, and my name is Lil Monkey the Brown Monkey. These are my co-hosts, Flopsy the White Bunny, Jake the Ape, and Blue Fuzz the Blue Dog. And so we’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

In the news tonight:

Tonight for the Current News, Gus the Mississippi Alligator fulfilled his vision of opening his own restaurant, “The Slithering Tail”, and is now having many well-known guests at his restaurant. Gypsy and Harmony the Small Indian Mongooses moved to the scrubland of the Caribbean and were married there in a quiet ceremony surrounded by a few family and friends. Herbert the Two-Banded Monitor was found drunk, singing “Boom Chocolaca” at the nightclub “The Two Bands of the Lizard”. And so that’s it in the Current News tonight! More tomorrow!”

Jake: “The Weather for right now, is a fair 61 degrees Fahrenheit, with a feel of 61, and a high of 80 with a low of 60. For the rest of the night, it will be 62 degrees, with a feel of 62. There is no chance of rain tonight, unfortunately. The wind right now, is a NNE at 3 mph and continues like that until 3:00AM, and then at 4, it changes to a N wind increasing to 4 mph. And so a boring night in the Weather. That’s all for tonight, folks.”

Blue Fuzz: “For the Fun/Weird News tonight, Humbert the Mountain Lion, and his best friend, Irvin the Four-Striped Grass Mouse, went skydiving today, and had a lovely time. It was a beautiful clear day, and the two had a great time, though Irvin did have a little trouble getting into the harness. Jem the Black-Spider Monkey made his name when he tried to use extendable arms to be able to climb a twenty-foot-tall tree and failed miserably. The arms broke and he fell ten feet landing in a very deep lake, but he is safe and sound. Jere the Nine-Banded Armadillo waddled his way across the finish line in a one mile race against Joel the Netted Rock Dragon. The prize was the animal’s favorite type of food(s), which for Jere was ants, termites, and other small invertebrates. And so Jere received a large bag filled to the brim with each of them. That’s it for the Fun/Weird News this evening. See you tomorrow.”

Flopsy: “The Cooking News for tonight, is a salad made up of Beauty Bush, Calanthe, and the Elephant’s Ear, with a sprig of Bloodleaf, and a dressing of Fetterbush and Foxglove. It’s now being served at Olive Garden. There’s a new soda of the Goldenchain Tree and the Honey Locust, with a sprinkle of Ivy added in for a sweet flavor. It’s now out at your local movie theatre. And lastly, we have a new smoothie made from the Jewel Orchid, the Mulberry, and the Osmunda, with a cup of water, and a teaspoon of the Pineapple Guava. It makes for a scrumptious breakfast, that just fills you up! You can buy all the ingredients at your local H-E-B. That’s all in Cooking. See you tomorrow.”

Jake, Flopsy, Blue Fuzz, and Lil Monkey: “Have a great rest of the night. See you tomorrow!”

The End for today.