Peanuts: “Reporting to you from the house in the Sam Houston National Forest near Montgomery, TX, which is near Houston, today is November 23, 2018 and it is a Friday, and my name is Peanuts the Elephant, and these are my co-hosts: Jake the Ape, Ducky Buttons the Yellow Duck, and Flopsy the White Bunny. SiennaTigerlily and her parents are on vacation for her and her sister’s birthday and Thanksgiving and they will be back on Sunday. She and her sister, and their parents, and her sister’s husband attended the Renaissance Festival this afternoon. And so because we’re not going to be in South Texas for the next several days, we’ll be reporting on the news from around here. Also, Jake and I are the only ones who managed to cram ourselves into SiennaTigerlily’s suitcase without her noticing. So unfortunately, Ducky Buttons and Peanuts are not here with us. Rather they’re at home partying, though for the news we will be Facetiming with them.
And today for the news:
In celebrity news today, Alfred and Queenie the Giant Herons welcomed five new little ones into the world this afternoon at two o’clock. They now have three sons, Jeremy and Cameron and Reed, and two daughters, Junie and Lila, to add to the three boys that they already have, Zinnie and Abel and Aaron. Adam the Squirrel Glider landed himself in the hospital when he was in the process of completing one of his stunts for his current movie “Flying High to Nowhere”. He was flying down from a high rise and smacked into its opposing building. He obviously wasn’t considering where he was flying, just the destination. Either way, he is in the hospital and stable, though with several broken ribs, a minor concussion, and a broken leg. It’s reported he’ll be needing physical therapy. Who knows what will happen with the movie. If the producers will wait until he heals or if they will choose someone else. We shall see. Martin the Golden Brush-Tailed Possum won the prize for “Most Handsome Celebrity of the Year”. He’ll appear on TV for it at 10PM. And lastly in the celebrity news, Savannah the Golden Jackal finished her new book “Rising to New Heights”. She will appear on the Today Show for it later tonight at ten on Channel 8. And that’s all in the celebrity news today folks! Have a great day!”
Ducky Buttons: “In sports news this evening, we’ll be covering arm wrestling, cross country running, and darts. And so in arm wrestling, Ace the Grey Heron went against Braden the Griffon Vulture. I’m not sure why these two thought they could do arm wrestling. They have no muscles to make arm wrestling worth it. Anyway, Ace beat Braden. Not much excitement there. Adrian the Sage Hen and Charles the Hippopotamus arm wrestled in the second competition. Now we have some excitement! Adrian wriggled and fought and somehow beat Charles. What a victory! The crowd is cheering! Never before has this been done! In cross country running today, Alexander the Hoffman’s Sloth raced Cleveland the Red Meerkat. We’re not sure how it happened but Alexander ended up beating Cleveland by eight feet in a two-mile race. We think he may have given Cleveland a drink of water before the race with a sleeping draft in it. In the second race, it was Bernie the Marine Iguana versus Clark the Indian Porcupine. Both are at practically the same speed of moving and so in the end it was Bernie who won by a nose. Today in the sport of darts, Liliana the Indian Peacock and Cassidy the Kelp Gull went against each other. Liliana ended up being all over the board, while Cassidy made it in the center and outer edges mostly. It’s unclear who won. There will be a re-match in one hour. The second darts competition was Kaleb the Koala versus Moss the Laughing Dove. The match was scheduled to be done at four o’clock this afternoon, but didn’t begin until five, because Moss could not stop laughing when he was about to throw his dart, since he was the one to start. Eventually, he was given a dose of some sort of shot similar to a sedative which calmed him enough that the match was able to take place. And that’s all in sports today everybody! See you next time!”
Jake: “Today we’ll be covering the weather at the Renaissance Festival, since SiennaTigerlily and her family went to it this afternoon. Right now though, it is a partly cloudy 57 degrees with a feel of 57, with a high of 70 and a low of 46. The feel today ranged from 72 to 51, with no chance of rain. It will be partly cloudy for the rest of the night, with a wind coming from the W at 3 mph and then at 11PM a WNW at 2 mph and staying that way basically for the rest of the night. During the time that SiennaTigerlily and her family were at the Renaissance Festival this afternoon, it started out overcast with somewhat dark clouds with the possibility of rain and slightly chilly. That turned into a nice sunny day, with still a slight chill in the air. It was a nice day to be out and about. That’s it in the weather today everybody. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Flopsy: “Today in the news according to cooking, the Arrowhead Vine, the Blueberry, and the Cranesbill come together to create a new smoothie. It’s called the Arrowhead Billberry, and it will be out in stores in three days. The Easter Cactus and the Firebush make a new type of cookie called the Easter Fire Cookie. They’re now being served at Chili’s restaurants. The Jatropha and the Knautia make a new chowder called the Jatrautia Chowder with a bit of Lungwort sprinkled on top for flavor. The Myrtle and the Needle Palm make a new pie, which has yet to be named but it looks to be very good. And last in cooking, is the Peace Lily is now a coffee and it will be in stores tomorrow. That’s all in cooking. Have a great day everyone!”
Flopsy, Peanuts, Jake, and Ducky Buttons: “Have a great day, everyone! And we shall see you tomorrow!”