Ducky Buttons: “Reporting to you from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today, November 16, 2018, and it is a Friday, and my name is Ducky Buttons the Yellow Duck, and I am reporting today, and these are my co-hosts: Jake the Ape, Flopsy the White Bunny, and Peanuts the Elephant. We’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

And to start off:

In sports today, we’ll look at football, rugby, and archery. For football, the Caribou took down the Pythons easily pulverising them into the ground, with an ending score of 20-1. It will be amazing if the Pythons can make a recovery from that horrid loss. We’ll just have to wait and see. The Jungle Cats took on their long-time rivals, the African Wild Cats, today. And for a time, it looked like the Jungle Cats had the ball, but the African Wild Cats came out of nowhere and nabbed it a few minutes before the game ended and in those few minutes, they made up ground amazingly. They went from African Wild Cats (5) with the Jungle Cats (12), to African Wild Cats (25) and the Jungle Cats stalled at 12. There was no way the Jungle Cats would get past the African Wild Cats. Absolutely amazing! And now on to rugby. The Ducks and the Possums go up against each other, and the Ducks make history today beating the Possums 18-1. Good going Ducks! The Iguanas take down the Armadillos and wipe them out 20-0! The Armadillos had no hope to win. In archery today, Danny the Nighthawk makes a new rival in the form of Carl the Pheasant. They were neck and neck for awhile there, but in the end Danny had it, and won with 5-1. Oliver the Raccoon and Jet the Turkey went up against each other today, and it was clear that Oliver had it from the beginning and there was no way Jet could catch up. Sorry, Jet, next time. That’s all for sports today folks! Join us for more tomorrow! Have a great day!”

Peanuts: “Now to cover the celebrity news. Candy the Dolphin has finished her movie, “Playing in the Sea”, and she’ll make an appearance on the Red Carpet for it later this evening at 7PM. Jenny the Eastern Boa has now retired from acting, and is coiled up in her very own tree in Southern Florida in the most prime of real estate places, which she bought for 2 million dollars. Allie the Wombat founded her own foundation, the Wriggling Wombats, to support little wombats with their education. That’s all for the celebrity news people! Have a great day!”

Flopsy: “For the cooking news, the Cypress and Dogwood have been made into a cake with a sprig of Geranium and a pinch of sugar to give it an usual sweet taste. The Indigo Bush has now been made into a curry with a bit of Ice Plant to top it off. Jasmine and the Orange Blossom and a teaspoon of milk come together to create a new creamer perfect for putting into the new coffee from the Kentucky Coffee Tree. A new sugar of the Knotweed and Love Grass goes perfectly in there as well. The Olive and the Pitcher Plant are combined into the new dish called the Pitol Mash. A very good dish–when heated up–for cold nights. This dish is perfect hot or cold. And that’s all for cooking. See you tomorrow!”

Jake: “Though we do have a sunshiney day today for the weather, it’s still going to be pretty cool, so keep those long-sleeved shirts and jackets out of their closet. And now on we go. It’s 72 degrees now at 12:52PM here in South Texas, with a high of 76 and a low of 55. The feel for today’s weather will be from 58 to 75 degrees, with right now a wind of SSE at 8 mph from 1PM-2PM. From 3PM-4PM that changes to a SE wind at 8 mph. At 5PM, the wind is still coming from the SE but decreases to 7 mph, and then at 6PM goes down to 5 mph. At 7PM the wind continues to stay a SE wind, but then increases to 6 mph, and from there on the wind varies 3 to 5 mph basically staying a SE wind. And that’s all in weather folks! See you next time.”

Jake, Peanuts, Flopsy, and Ducky Buttons: “Have a great day everyone, and we’ll see you tomorrow!”

The End for today.