Peanuts: “Reporting to you today from SiennaTigerlily’s bedroom, today is November 15, 2018, and it is a Thursday, and my name is Peanuts the Elephant, and I am reporting today, and these are my co-hosts: Jake the Ape, Ducky Buttons the Yellow Duck, and Flopsy the White Bunny. And we’re here to bring you the latest news from South Texas.

And so to begin:

In celebrity news today, Alice the Whale made her debut in her new movie, “Swimming Through the Clear Blue”, and it looks to be a very good one from the reviews of the critics and from the movie trailer. Amber and Lawrence the Grizzly Bears became the godparents today to two little ones, Eden and Luke, who entered this world at 8AM. Their parents are Lisa and Matthew the Grizzly Bears. Jackie the Beaver has now been given the go-ahead to get back into acting after her leg injury back in July. And so she is headed off to star in the new movie “Cast Aside”. It comes out next year, June 2019. And that’s all for the celebrity news. More to come tomorrow! See you then!”

Ducky Buttons: And in sports today, we’ll be covering cricket, swimming, and snowboarding. History was made this morning in cricket, when Tony the Vulture beat Andrew the Crane 15-1. The last time Tony beat Andrew was 14 years ago. Danny the Cardinal took on May the Prairie Dog and had the game from the beginning. The ball just wasn’t going for May this morning. In swimming, Taylor the Trout beat Nathan the Sunny in a 2 mile race by 18 feet. Absolutely incredible. Wanda the Catfish took down Madeline the Sturgeon in a 26 mile marathon. Wanda beat her by 2 miles. And on we go to snowboarding. Gretchen the Hyena beat the field today by 5 miles out of a 14 mile race.  It was a tough field that she beat. It contained John the Lemur, Benny the Pelican, and Alice the Camel. And we did have another snowboarding race for you, but unfortunately, we got an incredible amount of snow there, so they had to close that track. See you tomorrow, folks!”

Jake: “In the weather today, it is 11:35AM, with a brisk sunny 64 degrees, with a feel of 64 degrees down here in South Texas. There will be a high of 69 and a low of 45, with a feel ranging from 70 to 48. It will be sunny with some clouds for the rest of the day, with a wind coming from SSW at 3 mph right now, and from 12PM-1PM there will be a wind of 2 mph coming from the S. At 2PM, that will change to go to a SSE 2 mph wind, and then at 3PM will be a SE 3 mph wind. When 4PM comes around that wind will stay a SE but will increase to 4 mph. And then basically from 5PM on that wind will range from ESE at 4 mph to a SE at 3 mph to a SSE at 2 mph. And so that’s all for the weather, folks! Have a nice day!”

Flopsy: “In cooking, the news is there is a casserole of the Agave and Anemone, with surprisingly, sugar added. Sweet, sweet, sweet! The Annual Larkspur has now been made into a cake with an icing from the Asian Pear. Absolutely beautiful! The Blue Grape hyacinth has been made into a tea and will be out in two days at Sprout’s for $10. The California Grape has now been made into a soda, with a sprig of the Carnation to top it off. And lastly, the Chocolate Flower and the Chocolate Columbine come together to create a new type of chocolate. They have yet to name it, but for those of you who are chocolate lovers look out for this new chocolate. And that’s all in cooking today, everyone.”

Peanuts, Jake, Flopsy, and Ducky Buttons: “Have a great day everyone! We’ll see you tomorrow, and stay warm!”

The End for today.